1 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:05,572 (Ted) Sometimes When You're Working On 2 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,340 An Important Project With A Hard Deadline, 3 00:00:07,373 --> 00:00:09,309 You Put In A Lot Of Late Nights. Now Are You Sure 4 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,077 You Don't Want Me To Have Lucinda Come Pick You Up, Honey? 5 00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,513 I'm Sure She Wouldn't Mind 6 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:15,015 Eating All My Breakfast Bars While You Sleep, 7 00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:17,984 And Then Hiding The Wrappers From Mr. Ted. I Want To Stay Here With You. 8 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,554 Good. Good Night. 9 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,896 We Did It, Ted. 10 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,566 We Now Have A Working Prototype For The Veridian Sleep System. 11 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,000 All The Hard Work, 12 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,236 Late Nights And No Rest Have Paid Off. 13 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:37,738 We've Cured Sleeplessness 14 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,040 And Demonstrated Irony. Well, That's Great, 15 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,408 Because The Relaxation Convention's Only A Week Away. 16 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:43,744 I Know. It's So Exciting. 17 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,846 We Heard A Commercial For It This Morning. 18 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,514 (Imitates Tv Announcer) "Relaxxxacon! 19 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:51,117 The World's Largest Gathering Of Relaxation Technology." 20 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,119 (Imitating Tv Announcer) "72 Hours Of Nonstop, 21 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:55,121 In‐Your‐Face, Cutting‐Edge Relaxation." 22 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,823 "Sammy Hagar! Alice Cooper! 23 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,993 And The Navy's Blue Angels!" 24 00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:02,028 (Normal Voice) We're A Little Loopy 25 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,031 Due To The Exhaustion. 26 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,533 (Normal Voice) Behold. 27 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,635 Inside This Box Is A Transmitter 28 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,537 Which Will Induce The Human Brain 29 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,138 To Emit Alpha Waves, 30 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:15,208 Gently Lulling It Into A Restful Sleep. 31 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,712 (Metal Grinding) 32 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,814 (Loudly) That Sounds Means It's Working. 33 00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:23,850 (Loudly) If You Can Put Up With It For Three Minutes, 34 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,819 Hello, Dreamland! 35 00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:28,622 Turn It Off! Just Turn It Off! (Noise Stops) 36 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,557 I Have A Note. 37 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,893 It's The Sound, Right? That's What's Bothering You? 38 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,461 It's Too Loud, Correct? You've Only Got A Few Days To Crack This, Fellas. 39 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,330 Otherwise, We Are Not Gonna Make This Year's... 40 00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:39,365 (Imitates Tv Announcer) Relaxxxacon! 41 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:43,336 The Extra "X" Is For More Z's. 42 00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:45,572 (Normal Voice) Well, That Is Fun. 43 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,976 Hey, Linda. One More Week. How You Holding Up? 44 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,545 I'm A Little Tired, 45 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,980 And Working These Hours Is Making Everyone Unhappy. 46 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,682 Bob Stole Amy's Danish. 47 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,652 She Got So Mad, She Stapled His Lip To His Cubicle. 48 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:02,889 He Tried To Call For Help, But It Came Out "Helf." 49 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,991 It Was Actually Horrifying. (Laughs) 50 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:08,194 They Had To Call An Ambulance. 51 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:10,731 Ugh! This Is Bitter. 52 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:14,467 Oh! God, You Idiot! Oh, My God. 53 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:17,037 Jenkins, I'm So Tired, I Thought You Were A Sink. 54 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:20,641 I'm So Tired, I Thought You Were My Mouth. 55 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,877 Morale Does Seem Pretty Low. It's Like That Time 56 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,046 They Paid Our Holiday Bonuses In Frozen Food. 57 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,581 Potpie Christmas. 58 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:30,717 It Did Not Help That They Made Them With Real Reindeer. 59 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,318 We Have A Morale Problem. 60 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,220 You're Always Coming To Me With A Problem. 61 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:37,023 Just Once I Wish You'd Greet Me With A Sparkler And Cotton Candy 62 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:40,026 And Tell Me I Have The Number One Album In America. You Handed Out 63 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:43,029 "Veronica In The Key Of Love" At The Office Party, 64 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:46,066 And No One Threw It Back At You. Consider That A Victory. 65 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,534 Listen, This Deadline Is Coming Up Fast, 66 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,303 And If We Want These People To Keep Going, 67 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,906 We've Gotta Do Something To Keep Them Motivated. Ted, If There's A Morale Pro Blem, 68 00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,641 The Company Recommends 69 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,643 You Take The Hardest‐Working Employee And Fire Them. 70 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,712 That'll Scare The Rest Of The Peasants 71 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:01,147 Back Into The Fields. What If Instead Of Scaring People, 72 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,216 We Single Out The Hardest Working Employee 73 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,619 And Reward Them With Something Fun? 74 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:08,121 Less Stephen King, More Stephen... The Clown. 75 00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:10,156 I Couldn't Think Of A Fun Stephen. 76 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,626 Segal. No, That One's No Good Either. 77 00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:15,629 Fine. The Workers Pushed The Button And Lit Up The Light. 78 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:17,731 They Can Have Their Monkey Chow. 79 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:24,638 Now You've All Been Working Really Hard This Week, 80 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,640 But No One Harder Than Jenkins. 81 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:28,642 He Was Here When I Left Last Night, 82 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,376 And He Was Already At His Desk When I Got In This Morning. 83 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:33,747 If I Had Known Jenkins Was Gonna Be Such A Hero, 84 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,382 I Wouldn't Have Thrown My Coffee At Him. You Should Never Throw Your Coffee At Anyone, 85 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,951 Because You Never Know If They're Going To Become 86 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,886 A Great Man. 87 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,388 I Threw Coffee At A Cardinal On A Plane. Now He's The Pope. 88 00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:45,826 Back Then He Was Just A Guy In A Big Hat Blocking The Movie. 89 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,795 All Right, Guys. 90 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,164 (All) ♪ For He's A Jolly Good... ♪ 91 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,201 ♪ Dead Guy ♪ 92 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,477 Okay, I Was Wrong. It's More Than A Morale Problem. 93 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,247 We Worked A Man To Death. I Heard About Jenkins' Death. 94 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,382 The Company Feels Terrible About It. 95 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,318 People Are Working Too Hard, Veronica. We Need To Slow Down. 96 00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:13,854 Legal's Position Is 97 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,689 We Don't Know If Hard Work Killed Jenkins. 98 00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:18,525 Legal Thinks He May Have Had High Cholesterol. 99 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,627 They're Also Floating The Idea That His Being Dead 100 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,629 May Have Been A Preexisting Condition, 101 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,632 And That He May Not Have Been Alive When We Hired Him. 102 00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,802 Apparently He Was Pretty Quiet In His Job Interview. Veronica, We Need To Get Bac K To A Normal Work Schedule, 103 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:31,572 Even If That Means We Don't Make The Relaxxxacon Deadline. 104 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,540 We Can Introduce Our Sleep System 105 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,041 Next Month At The Snooze‐A‐Palooza 106 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,544 Or In July At The Texas Pillow And Gun Show. 107 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,746 Look, They're Giving Everyone An Afternoon Off. 108 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,548 And We're Throwing The Guy A Big Memorial, 109 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:44,184 Something Nice He Would Never Have Treated Himself To. 110 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,820 So That's It? A Half A Day Off? Sorry, Ted. The Company Feels 111 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:49,723 That If We Ease Up Just Because Someone Died, 112 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:54,194 It Will Only Encourage Other People To Die. Well, If It's One Thing This Compa Ny Understands, 113 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,329 It's How Human Beings Work. 114 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:03,069 You Better Not Let Ted See You Looting Jenkins' Things. 115 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,038 Ted Asked Me To Clean Out Jenkins' Desk 116 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,040 So We Can Ship It All To Florida. 117 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:09,042 I Think Jenkins Has Family There. 118 00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,044 Either That, Or Florida Has A Shortage 119 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,446 Of Miniature Mouthwash And Dilbert Cartoons. 120 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,518 (Chuckles) This Cartoon Resonates 121 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,485 With My Own Experience Of Office Life, 122 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,387 But Through A Comical Lens. 123 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:24,057 God. You're Here One Minute, And Then‐‐Poof. 124 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,192 You've Exhaled Your Last Minty Fresh Breath 125 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:29,062 And Died In Your Office, Cakeless. 126 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:30,697 That's Why It's Important 127 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,232 To Always Appreciate The Moment You're In, 128 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:36,036 Because The Future Is A Cake Which May Never Come. 129 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,071 Wow. Look How Profound This Moment Just Got. 130 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:41,908 Let It Wash Over You, Linda, Because Now It's Gone. 131 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,510 Did You Appreciate It? 132 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,580 I Did, Because I Always Live In The Present. 133 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,915 Wow. This Is A Good Moment, Too. 134 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,984 Savor It. I Am. 135 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,819 And Now It's Gone. 136 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,956 (Sighs) I Wish I Could Live Completely In The Present. 137 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,692 That's Something About Me I've Always Wanted To Work On. 138 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,727 Maybe I'll Attack It This Summer. 139 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:03,363 No, I Was Gonna Do Some Traveling, Maybe Go To Europe. 140 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,866 Also, I Want To Go Up In A Blimp‐‐ (Smack) 141 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:09,335 Ow! God! My Eyes. What The Hell? 142 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,405 I Was Helping You To Live In This Moment. It Hurts! 143 00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:14,708 Exactly. You're In Pain, 144 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,677 And So You're Completely In The Present. 145 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,345 And When You're In The Present, You're Living Your Life. 146 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,715 You're Not Caught Up In What Could Have Been 147 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:24,851 Or What Might Be. Huh. That Makes Sense. 148 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,287 And So The Student Becomes The Master. (Whoosh, Crack) 149 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,389 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 150 00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,291 Oh, I'm In This Moment. 151 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,827 Excellent. Now Quick, Look At The Dilbert Cartoon. 152 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:36,129 Oh. It's Funny Now. 153 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,199 Because You're Giving It Your Complete Focus. Ah. 154 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:43,369 Now Let's Go Listen To My Cd. It'll Blow Your Mind. 155 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,472 Since The Company Wasn't Gonna Ease Up On The Schedule, 156 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,208 I Thought I'd Use The Memorial To Encourage Everyone 157 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,043 To Take Better Care Of Themselves. 158 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,477 You Know What I Remember About Jenkins? 159 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,346 He Used To Be Alive. 160 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:56,149 So Pace Yourself, Know Your Limits, 161 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,184 And If You Feel Yourself Dying... 162 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,687 Uh, Well, Tell Your Supervisor. 163 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,723 (Lowered Voice) I Can't Believe Ted's Making Me 164 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,025 Speak At This Thing. (Lowered Voice) You Knew Jenkins Better Than Anybody. 165 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,293 I Didn't Know Him. Nobody Did. 166 00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,030 All I Did Was Throw Coffee At Him. I Am Not Saying Things Were Always Smooth 167 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,032 Between The Two Of You, 168 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:15,135 But In The End, You Understood Each Other. Chest Bump For Good Luck? 169 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:19,372 (Ted) Now I'd Like To Ask Lem Hewitt To Say A Few Words. 170 00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:22,308 These Sugar Cookies Are Great. 171 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:25,478 I'm Gonna Have 'Em At My Memorial. 172 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,013 I Love Sugar Cookies. (Lem Speaking Indistinctly) 173 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,550 When I Was A Kid, My Mom Used To Make 'Em. 174 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,384 But Instead Of Sugar, She'd Use Brandy. 175 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,954 And Instead Of Dipping Them In Milk, 176 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,322 She'd Dip Them In Brandy‐‐ Now What's Going On? 177 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:39,192 My Mind Was Drifting, And I'm Trying To Stay In The Moment. Oh. 178 00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:42,228 Now I Know What A Beard Of Fingers Would Feel Like. 179 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,665 It's Just As I Had Imagined. 180 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,567 Gordon Jenkins Was A Good Man. 181 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,669 But He Was Also A Complex Man. 182 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,537 For Example, He Liked Coffee, 183 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:53,039 But He Did Not Like Having Coffee Thrown At Him. 184 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:56,643 In Fact, Jenkins Hated Being Burned By Any Hot Liquid. 185 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,212 In That Way, He Was Like Many Of Us, 186 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,214 Sensitive To Heat. 187 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,884 What A Character. Good‐Bye, Jenkins. 188 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:08,388 I Hope You're Throwing Coffee At God Right Now. 189 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,459 Nice Work, Lem. Goose Bumps. 190 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,662 Really? Sure. Why Not? 191 00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:20,133 Carl Jenkins‐‐ 192 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,635 Gordon. Carl Gordon‐‐ 193 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,136 Jenkins. Carl Gordon Jenkins‐‐ 194 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,638 Gordon Jenkins. 195 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,406 Carl Gordon Jenkins Gordon Jenkins. 196 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,675 Are You Sure That's Right? That's Fine. 197 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,677 Was A Man Who Loved His Work. 198 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,178 He Lived For It, 199 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,080 And In All But The Legally Culpable Sense, 200 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,849 He Died For It. 201 00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:39,485 And So We Must Ask Ourselves, How Do Honor This Great Man? 202 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,856 By Giving Up On The Project He Held So Dear? 203 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,894 I Said, By Giving Up On The Project He Held So Dear? 204 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:51,364 (Employees) No. By Quitting On Him And His Dream Of Creating 205 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:54,300 The Most Advanced Sleep System In Human History? 206 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,836 (Employees) No. 207 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,237 Or By Finishing The Job 208 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,405 Carl Gordon Jenkins Gordon Jenkins Started 209 00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,908 So That His Death Will Not Be In Vain? 210 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:05,746 (Employees) Yes! By Working Day And Night To Meet Our Deadline 211 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,314 And Storm The Walls Of Relaxxxacon. 212 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:11,852 (Employees) Yes! My Friends, We Will Complete This Project On Time, 213 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,055 And We Will Do It For Jenkins! 214 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,323 (Employees) For Jenkins! I Can't Hear You. 215 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,793 (Louder) For Jenkins! Avenge Him! 216 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,361 Who Do We Kill?! 217 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,730 Insomnia, And Who Do We Kill It For? 218 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,298 (Employees) Jenkins! 219 00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:27,133 You're Damn Right. 220 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,570 Now Let's Go Upstairs And Get Back To Work, 221 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:32,005 For Tonight, We Dine In Hell! 222 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:35,441 (Cheering) 223 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,549 Sorry, Ted. 224 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,918 The Company Didn't Think Sad Was The Way To Go. 225 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,992 Veronica's Speech At Jenkins' Memorial 226 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,794 Inspired People To Work Even Harder. 227 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,196 The Company Liked What It Saw, So The Next Day, 228 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:59,199 It Shifted The Jenkins Mobile Into Turbo Drive. So After Day Car E, 229 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,668 Do I Get To Sleep In Your Office Again? Oh, Look At You, 230 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,369 Saying "Get To" To Make Me Feel Better. 231 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:06,206 Honey, I Know My Being Busy Is Hard, 232 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,543 But It's Just For A Few More Days. It's Okay. At Least Your Couch Is Comfor Table. 233 00:10:15,516 --> 00:10:17,884 So We're Doing Posters Now? 234 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,485 The Company Got Us These 235 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:20,887 To Remind Us What We're Working For. 236 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,322 Plus, They Got Us 237 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,191 These Neat Little Rubber Wristbands For Free. 238 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,228 It Says, "Work Strong. For Jenkins." Here. Sheila, Don't You See What's H Appening? 239 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,230 The Company Is Exploiting Jenkins' Death 240 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,966 To Make People Work Harder. The Company Said That Jenkins Said 241 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,868 That Some People Would Say That. 242 00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,738 I Just Can't Believe It's One Of The Finders. 243 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,339 The Finders? 244 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,375 One Of The Eight People Who Found His Body. 245 00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:49,149 (Metal Grinding) 246 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,184 Lem! Wake Up! 247 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:54,154 The Cool Accountants Are On Their Way Down. (Noise Stops) 248 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:57,157 Oh, Damn It. And The Lab Is Such A Mess. Wh‐‐Perry And Todd And Beaver? 249 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,492 What Are Those Guys Doing Coming Down Here? 250 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,663 Stop Questioning Me And Help Clean This Place Up. 251 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:03,864 Hey. 252 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,832 Hey. Hey. 253 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,669 Clean Lab, Bro. Yeah, Whatever. 254 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,705 So You Were Friends With Jenkins, Huh? 255 00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,206 Me? 256 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,909 Uh, Yeah, Yeah. We Were Pretty Tight. Sure. 257 00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:19,379 That's Sick. What Was He Really Like? 258 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,849 He Had A Huge Heart. 259 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,851 Uh, I Remember Him Saying Once, 260 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:28,121 "Lem, You Are My Best Friend, And If I Should Die, 261 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:31,124 "At Least I'll Die Knowing One Really Cool Guy. 262 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:34,828 You, Lem, The Cool Guy I'm Referring To." 263 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,130 Nice. 264 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,800 Dude, We're Gonna Step Outside To Take A Cigarette Break. 265 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:42,302 Do You Want To Come? Well, I Don't Smoke, 266 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,905 But I'd Love To Watch You Guys Smoke. Me, Too. 267 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,406 Then It's Settled. 268 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,709 We All Get To... Hang Out With You Guys. 269 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,310 Oh, Sorry, Odd Lab Dude. 270 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,479 The Smoking Area's Kinda Small. 271 00:11:53,514 --> 00:11:56,750 Well, Isn't It All Of The Outdoors? 272 00:11:56,783 --> 00:12:00,020 For The Love Of God, Phil, Please Don't Ruin This For Me. 273 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,358 Oh, Linda, I Need Your Testing Report 274 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,393 On The Sleep System Packaging. 275 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,496 Marketing Keeps... I'm Going To Count To One. 276 00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:13,299 Sorry. It Helps Me Stay In The Moment. 277 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,569 If Your Moments Don't Hold Your Attention, 278 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,137 You Need To Look Deeper 279 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,139 Until You Find What's Interesting In Them. 280 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,875 Like Right Now, I'm Losing Interest In This Moment. 281 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,977 And So I'm Going To... 282 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,512 Sweep The Leg. (Thud) 283 00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:26,747 Oh! Oh. 284 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:31,985 Ahh. That's What This Moment Needed. 285 00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,154 Now The Company's Exploiting Jenkins 286 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,355 To Get People To Work Harder. 287 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:38,191 There's Posters And Bracelets. There's An Inspirational Video 288 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,895 About Him Playing In The Elevator. I Know. I Got Them To Use One Of The Songs From 289 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,564 "Veronica In The Key Of Love." 290 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:46,132 (Veronica) ♪ Never Gonna Give You Up ♪ 291 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,635 ♪ Never Gonna Let You Down... ♪ 292 00:12:48,669 --> 00:12:51,371 (Man) The Settlers Crossing The Prairie... 293 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:55,408 Jonas Salk Discovering The Polio Vaccine... 294 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,211 Gordon Jenkins Writing The Table Of Contents 295 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,514 For The Veridian Sleep System Manual... 296 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:03,183 Great Achievements Take Hard Work. 297 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:06,820 Shouldn't You Try To Be More Like Gordon Jenkins? 298 00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:09,690 Yes, You Should. 299 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,627 Don't Get Me Wrong. It Was The Best Elevator Video 300 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,696 Since The Soft‐Core Porn One About Recycling. 301 00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:18,865 But If The Company Keeps Using Jenkins To Rev People Up, 302 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,634 Someone Else Is Gonna Get Hurt Or Dead. 303 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,369 It's Just For A Few More Days Until Relaxxxacon, 304 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:28,008 And Then The Jenkins Thing Will End. Yeah? Because Knowing How Much This Company Loves Productivity, 305 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,475 It Wouldn't Surprise Me 306 00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:30,677 If 14‐Hour Days Became The New Normal. 307 00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:33,514 The Jenkins Thing Will End. And So Will The 14‐Hour Days. 308 00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:36,817 The Jenkins Th Ing Will End. Veronica, The 14‐Hour Days? 309 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,819 Jenkins, Good‐Bye. Adios, Jenkins. 310 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,322 Jenkins No Mo'. You Gotta Be Kidding Me. 311 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,558 So They Really Are Gonna Make This Permanent? 312 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,159 None Of Us Are Gonna See Our Families Again. 313 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,293 And I Like Rose. 314 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,029 I Wasn't Entirely Sold In The First Six Months, 315 00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,864 But Now I'm Way Into Her. 316 00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:53,333 I'm Gonna Go Tell Everyone In This Department, Veronica, 317 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:57,003 And They Are Not Gonna Stand For It. Oh, Ted, You Adorable Little Flower. 318 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,039 What Are They Gonna Do, Quit? 319 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,542 If They Do, The Company Will Just Replace Them. 320 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:02,576 Then I Am Gonna Go Upstairs And Convince Management 321 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:06,747 That What They're Doing Is Immoral. 322 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:09,883 Wow. I'm Glad I Tried That One Out On You Before Going Up There. 323 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,853 Ted, No One Knows How Many Licks It Takes 324 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,155 To Get To My Moral Center, But I Can See 325 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:18,191 How This Is Important To You, So Here's The Deal‐‐ 326 00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,994 If You Want To Get The Company Off This, You Have To Show Them 327 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,996 That This New Pace Is Gonna Cost Them Money, 328 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,998 Because The Company Loves Its Money. 329 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,000 If They Could, They'd Go To Strip Clubs 330 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:30,170 And Throw Naked Women At Money. 331 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,338 So Jenkins Hooks This 6‐Foot Trout, 332 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,474 And It's Freaking Out, Flopping Around The Boat. 333 00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:36,476 And Jenkins Hated The Sight Of Blood 334 00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:38,645 Because Of His Time In The Mossad. 335 00:14:38,679 --> 00:14:41,548 So I Had To Reach Past Those Razor‐Sharp Teeth 336 00:14:41,582 --> 00:14:43,650 And Pull The Hook Out For Him. 337 00:14:43,684 --> 00:14:46,052 (Sighs) We Hugged And Wept, 338 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,654 And Jenkins Said To Me, 339 00:14:47,688 --> 00:14:51,992 "Lem, You... Are My Best Friend." 340 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,393 Lem. 341 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,162 Can I Talk To You For A Minute? 342 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,331 Oh, Sure. 343 00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:04,137 That Was Our Fishing Story, Except It Was You Who Was 344 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,707 Flopping Around On The Floor With A Hook In Your Mouth, 345 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,142 And I Was The One Who Took It Out, And There Was No Fish 346 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,878 Because The Whole Thing Happened At A Sporting Goods Store. 347 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,815 And It Is My Wife Who Was In Mossad. Phil, The Cool Accountants Like Me. 348 00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:17,383 They Let Me Go To The Store And Buy Them Cigarettes. 349 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,020 And I Need More Jenkins Stories Than That Coffee Spilling One 350 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:23,724 That Just Lies There Like A Turd. I Feel Like Jenkins Is Replacing Me. 351 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,526 (Inhales Sharply) That's Ridiculous. 352 00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:29,329 Why Don't We Have Lunch Later, Just You And Me? 353 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,532 It's Broasted Chicken Day In The Cafeteria. 354 00:15:31,565 --> 00:15:34,801 It'll Give Us Another Chance To Figure Out What Broasting Is. 355 00:15:34,835 --> 00:15:37,971 Well, I Do Want To Get To The Bottom Of That. 356 00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:39,706 Okay, We'll Have Lunch. 357 00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,708 I Just Hope "Broasting" Is Not A Typo, 358 00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:44,410 Like That Butter Crotch Pudding. 359 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,748 So I've Been Trying To Live In The Moment, 360 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:48,849 But It's Really Hard 361 00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:51,084 Because A Lot Of My Moments Aren't That Interesting. 362 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:55,556 So I Was Wondering.. . Do You Want To Have Sex Right Now? Gee, That Feels Really Right, 363 00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:56,657 But I'm In The Middle Of Something. 364 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,491 In Fact, You Can Help Me. 365 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:01,294 I Need To Sabotage The Sleep System 366 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:04,230 And Make Sure It's Not Finished In Time For Relaxxxacon. Cool. That's Not Sex, But It Beats 367 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,966 Getting Knocked To The Floor So Hard, You Want To Go 368 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:09,636 Back To Wisconsin And Get Your Master's In Cheese Sciences. Yes, It Does. 369 00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:12,172 See, I Need To Show The Company That Overworking People 370 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,641 Will Make Them So Tired, They'll Make Mistakes, 371 00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:17,644 And That Will Cost The Company Money. Yeah. This Could Be A Great Moment. 372 00:16:17,678 --> 00:16:20,413 We'll Go To The Basement And Get A Fire Hose. 373 00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:24,084 Then We Get Ten Pies, A Ramp And A Motorcycle‐‐ All I Need Is Your Computer. 374 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,386 See, You Have Access To The Shipping Database. 375 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,388 And I Need To Cancel An Order Of Parts 376 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,391 For The Sleep System Prototype. And You Want To Use My Computer 377 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,727 So You Don't Get In Trouble. Nice Try, Crisp. 378 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,262 Sweep The Leg. 379 00:16:38,899 --> 00:16:40,901 Look, You're Not Gonna Get In Trouble. 380 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,836 It'll Just Look Like An Anonymous Worker 381 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:45,438 Making A Sleepy Mistake. Fine. 382 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,810 Lem, I Talked To The Chef. 383 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,812 It Turns Out That Broasting Is A Combination Of, 384 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,379 And I'm Quoting, 385 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,516 "Roasting And Get The Hell Out Of My Kitchen." 386 00:16:55,549 --> 00:16:57,584 He Wouldn't Tell Me The Proportions. 387 00:16:57,618 --> 00:17:01,021 Who's In The Urn? 388 00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,323 It's Him, Isn't It? 389 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,358 Jenkins Doesn't Have Any Family Out Here, 390 00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:08,228 So The Company Asked Me To Pick Up His Ashes. 391 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,131 I See. Well, You Two Enjoy Your Lunch. 392 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,799 Oh. Come On, Phil. 393 00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:15,168 What Was I Supposed To Do, Leave Him In A Car? 394 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,904 It's A Hot Day. He's Already Ashes. 395 00:17:17,938 --> 00:17:19,840 Look, I Know You Don't Like Him, 396 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,375 But He Is My Friend Now. 397 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:23,977 So Why Don't You Come Join Us For Lunch? 398 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,880 I'm Sure The Three Of Us Can Work This Out. 399 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,983 Or... Why Don't I Do This?! 400 00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:31,484 (Grunts) 401 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,854 (Groans) 402 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,356 (Grunts And Inhales Deeply) 403 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,958 (Exhales Deeply) 404 00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:39,359 (Pants) 405 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,495 (Groans) 406 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,266 (Grunts) 407 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,970 You Two Are Jerks. 408 00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:52,472 (Veronica) ♪ Shaba‐Daba‐Dee‐Do‐Da ♪ 409 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,307 ♪ Shaba‐Daba‐Boo‐Be‐Ba... ♪ 410 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,309 It Is 8:00 At Night, And The Shipment Of Parts 411 00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:58,311 For The Sleep System Never Got Here. 412 00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:00,146 Now We Are Not Gonna Make Our Deadline, 413 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,715 And The Company Will Learn 414 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,817 That Pushing People Too Hard Leads To Mistakes. 415 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,418 How Do I Feel About That? 416 00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,153 ♪ Never Gonna Let You Down ♪ 417 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:11,224 ♪ Never Gonna Run Around And Desert You ♪ 418 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,828 ♪ Shaba‐Daba‐Dee‐Do‐Da Shaba‐Daba‐Boo‐Be‐Ba... ♪ 419 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,831 Ted, The Parts Shipment For The Prototype Didn't Arrive. 420 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,066 We'll Never Be Ready In Time For Relaxxxacon. 421 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,802 Where's Your Jenkins Now? 422 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:24,170 The Parts Didn't Come? Oh, My God. This Is Terrible. 423 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,707 What Are We Gonna Do, Go Home To Our Families? Okay. 424 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:30,210 Can I Have Everyone's Attention, Please? 425 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:34,247 We Are All Disappointed We're Not Gonna Make The Deadline. Now Jenkins' Soul Is Going To Hell! 426 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,683 (Employees) Aw. No, It's Not, Sheila. 427 00:18:36,717 --> 00:18:38,852 That's Just Something The Elevator Said. 428 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:41,321 Look, When We Push Ourselves Too Hard, Mistakes Get Made. 429 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,389 And Now There's No Possible Way‐‐ 430 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,626 I've Got The Parts For The Prototype! What? That's Impossible. 431 00:18:45,659 --> 00:18:47,994 The Parts Didn't Come Because Someone Was Tired 432 00:18:48,028 --> 00:18:50,030 So Now The Company Can't Work Us So Hard. Actually, Last Night, I Was So Sleep Y, 433 00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:52,332 I Accidentally Opened The Shipping Database, 434 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,635 And I Saw That Someone Had Canceled The Order. 435 00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,469 So I Stole My Ex‐Wife's Minivan, Drove All Night To Stockton 436 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,371 Got The Order And Brought It Back. 437 00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,073 I've Been Driving For 20 Straight Hours. 438 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:02,008 I Took Everything The Truckers Gave Me. 439 00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:06,212 Watch How Fast I Can Run. Now We Can Go Back To Work. For Jenkins! 440 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,048 (Employees) For Jenkins! No, Wait, Wait, Look. 441 00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:11,217 The Company Is Using Jenkins To Get You All To Work Harder. 442 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,520 (Employees Groan And Grumble) But The Thing Is, It's‐‐ 443 00:19:13,554 --> 00:19:15,522 It's Not Gonna Be Just For This Project. 444 00:19:15,556 --> 00:19:19,292 The Company Wants To Make These Crazy Hours The New Normal. 445 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,461 But We Can't Work This Way Forever. 446 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,230 No, We Can't. So I'm Going Back To My Old Schedule. 447 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,299 I Don't Care What They Do To Me. 448 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,201 I'm Taking My Daughter And I'm Going Home. 449 00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:30,704 So We Weren't Working This Hard For Jenkins? 450 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,906 We Were Doing It All For The Company? 451 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,642 But Jenkins Was Still A Great Man, Right? 452 00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,911 I Mean, You Were With Him When He Helped That Killer Whale 453 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:41,081 Find Its Way Home. I Had Not Heard That One. 454 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:43,083 Was That An Embellishment Of The Time I Helped 455 00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:46,019 That Large Woman With The Hole In The Top Of Her Head 456 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,054 Find Her Way Back To Her Apartment? 457 00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:50,624 Actually, I Stole That Story From "Free Willy." Oh. 458 00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:53,026 I've Been Using Jenkins For My Own Gain, 459 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,528 Just Like The Company. 460 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,830 All Those Stories I Told About Jenkins 461 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,032 Were Really Just Things I Did With Phil. 462 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:03,537 Phil Is The Great Man And Phil Is My Best Friend. 463 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,971 Who's Phil? 464 00:20:05,005 --> 00:20:08,208 (Dramatic Instrumental Music Playing) 465 00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:11,311 Where Are You Going? 466 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,179 I've Had It. I'm Going Home. 467 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,981 But It's Still Dark Out. 468 00:20:15,015 --> 00:20:18,218 (Music Continues) 469 00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,829 I Have To Pee. (Music Warbles And Stops) 470 00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:31,665 Uh, Can It Wait, Honey? We're Kinda Having A Moment Here. 471 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,567 Nope. Sorry. 472 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:43,910 (Toilet Flushing) 473 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:51,317 (Water Runs) 474 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,820 (Paper Towel Dispenser Whirs) 475 00:20:53,854 --> 00:20:56,289 (Clears Throat) Hey. 476 00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:59,860 (Dramatic Instrumental Music Playing) 477 00:20:59,893 --> 00:21:02,829 Hold The Door! 478 00:21:02,863 --> 00:21:05,198 (Music Continues) 479 00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:07,400 I'm Going With You. You're Supporting Me On This? 480 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,803 What? Oh, No. I Just Have A Dinner Date. 481 00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:11,404 (Music Continues) 482 00:21:15,909 --> 00:21:18,011 Well, All My Stuff's Still Here. 483 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:21,414 And They Didn't Spring The Trap Door On Me In The Lobby. 484 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:24,384 So I Guess I Haven't Been Fired. Nope. We Won. 485 00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,486 Apparently After We Stormed Out Last Night, 486 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,955 The Whole Department Filed Out Behind Us. 487 00:21:28,989 --> 00:21:31,692 So The Company Backed Down On The New Hours? Mm‐Hmm. 488 00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:33,860 I/We Did It, 489 00:21:33,894 --> 00:21:36,663 Because I/We Stood Up For What Was Right. 490 00:21:36,697 --> 00:21:39,165 I/We Am Proud Of Me/Us. 491 00:21:39,199 --> 00:21:40,867 I/Me, Too, Ted. 492 00:21:40,901 --> 00:21:43,970 Together, We're Like Gandhi. 493 00:21:44,004 --> 00:21:46,439 I'm Skinny, And You're Tan.